Funniness

I was partaking in one of my favourite activities today...googling...and I came across a transcript of an interview with Uday Chopra(God bless him!) on rediff.com. It was a record of a online chat forum with his fans and seriously, I have not laughed as much in a while.

Here are a selection of some of my favourite questions and Uday's answers.

Amee : Don't u think u copy sharkuh !
Uday Chopra : I copy Shah Rukh? Well, if you think I do, I take it as a compliment. So Thanx!

marketingguy : THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE!!!
Uday Chopra : You better believe it, Luke!

aks : hey, why dont u do some gujju films, u look like those guys who hangoutside kandivili ice cream stalls,sometimes you remind me of a dhokla, these gujju chicks will freak on you, you will remain on their mammary sorry memory
Uday Chopra : hahahahahaha

diltopagalhai : Hi Uday, do u know that Saddam Hussain's name is alos UDAY.
Uday Chopra : Saddam Hussain's son's name is Uday. but dont say it too loudly. I wont be able to travel to the US. New York happens to be my fave city!

sanjubaba : how come you ever smiling? your vibratiions give sweet feeling.
Uday Chopra : I be smiling and vibrations of mine will be forever.

Alex : Hi, Hope you'll reply to me cause tulip never cared about me
Uday Chopra : Poor Alex! Tulip is like that only. She didnt care for me either! Are you hearing this Tulip? :-)

UDAYUNCLE : THANSK GOD U ONLY ACT AND R NOT DIRECTING
Uday Chopra : Why?

wadapau : IF A TREE FALLS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST WITH NO-ONE TO HEAR IT... HAS IT ACTUALLY FALLEN??????
Uday Chopra : Absolutely yes, but relatively no. And like Einstein says, it's all relative.''

anukhatau : Uday, I have a friend in Hollywood, his name is James Camerron, will u act in his forth coming film? If yes, u can compete directly with Arnie
Uday Chopra : Yes. But I heard that Jamie is currently not making anything. hahaha your not the only one with friends!

fardeenkhan : hi fardeen how are you
Uday Chopra : I'm fine. But I'm not Fardeen. thanx for asking anyways.

wishuluck : I wuld only require a hi to confirm u seeing my lonely messages
Uday Chopra : Hi you lonely person you!

SANA1 : Do u Knwo what every one calls u in our family fm meaning foreest monkey
Uday Chopra : I'll take that as a compliment. I love monkeys.

And my ultra personal favourite:

Mind : If you are uday chopra then tell me the name of your father
Uday Chopra : er...You got me here!


Where on earth did they find those people from?

Another way to get a good laugh is to watch Question time in Parliament. Don’t let the drab stench of politics fool you – the place is seriously better than watching Little Britain! My favourite parliamentarian to watch has always been Peter Costello.


Peter Costello looking bored behind John Howard

This guy acts like the little boy in school who’s always running around the classroom making a mess, the little boy who we all knew because we heard his name being called out angrily by the teacher every few minutes. Mr Costello, despite sitting on the frontbench and therefore always being on screen, is either sitting there looking completely bored out of his brains or is laughing his head off at some joke another MP has just whispered in his ear. Talk about children. I laughed so hard at him the other day when I read about his criticism of Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd – who had used an analogy from Donald Duck comics to describe the Australian economy.

I can’t say it better than these AAP excerpts:

“In the most direct attack yet on Mr Rudd, Treasurer Peter Costello mocked him for describing the Australian economy as "Brutopia" - a fictional country featuring in Donald Duck stories from the 1950s.

"Brutopia is a hostile country aiming for world domination," Mr Costello told parliament to quacking sounds from government benches.”

…quacking sounds? In parliament? By grown MPs? It got better when Liberal backbencher Andrew Laming felt like being a smart aleck and yelled out:

“Hey Kevin, where you dux at school?”

Hahahaha… Rudd was! And these are the children who are in control of my country. Tsk Tsk.


But probably my favourite Parliamentarian moment happened a few weeks ago in my home state parliament in Queensland. The Strewth column in the Australian put it so eloquently.



Premier Peter Beattie

QUEENSLAND Premier Peter Beattie got his knickers in a twist yesterday after Nationals MP Rob Messenger compared him to "a prostitute dressed in a ball gown talking about celibacy" after he walked into the state parliamentary chamber on Wednesday night dressed in a dinner suit. Messenger told parliament there was almost a "surreal feeling" in the chamber as he watched the snappily dressed Premier. Beattie hit back yesterday, saying he had been attending a dinner with Queensland Governor Quentin Bryce. "I don't set the dress standards for Government House. If Her Excellency says the standard of dress is a dinner suit, I will go in a dinner suit." He said Messenger owed him an apology. Messenger later stood up in parliament and apologised, but not to Beattie. "I've had this morning to think about my comments and reflect on my behaviour, and I've decided the Premier is right: my comments were unparliamentary. I should apologise, so I wholeheartedly and sincerely apologise to the prostitutes of Queensland." He was censured by the parliament.”
The Australian. Canberra, A.C.T.: Feb 9, 2007. pg. 11



Hahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha…..priceless!

If Rob Messenger wasn’t a politician I would consider marrying him!
On second thoughts...i wouldn't marry him if this is what he considers justice:

"In relation to the Queensland Director of Public Prosecutions' expert legal decision not to charge Senior-Sergeant Chris Hurley, I agree with Peter Beattie when he says that we must “accept the independent umpire’s decision” and “We will not have any political interference…”

However, while I agree with the Premier on this occasion, I must remind Queenslanders the public record plainly shows that Mr Beattie has not always accepted or respected Queensland's DPP’s expert legal opinion."
- Press release from Rob Messenger's website

Expert decision? For once in my life i'm glad Beattie is in power...